Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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