Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
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He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
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I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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