She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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