THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize