so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize