I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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