dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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