is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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