and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize