He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize