There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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