What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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