i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize