you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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