how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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