A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize