and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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