I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
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He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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