new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
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Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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