grandma shit on top of the toilet
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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