Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize