imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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