are you so shy because you have an std?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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