hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize