i think i have herpe
just one?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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