Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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