I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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