I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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