why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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