We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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