He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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