that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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