so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize