Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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