i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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