Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
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She tied me up with her honor cords...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
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He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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