Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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