The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize