you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
only you would photoshop your dick
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize