Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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