I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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