my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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