in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
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