I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
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I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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