I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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