I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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