the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
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I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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