i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize