Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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