this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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